


Free Sample

by Adrianna99



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: First Meetings, M/M, Pickup Lines, costco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-17 01:30:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11841168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adrianna99/pseuds/Adrianna99
Summary: Chris tries to get Viktor to ask out the cute attendant at Costco using one of his patented pickup lines.  Yuuri is confused.





	Free Sample

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure where this came from... I'm just going to leave it here and pretend i didn't write the whole thing instead of sleeping on a red eye.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Viktor had known that helping Christophe Giacometti shop would be a mistake.

Truth be told, he had known that going anywhere in public with Chris could very well lead to trouble. That hadn't stopped him from going to Costco with his roommate after an hour straight of begging and pleading.

"I don't understand why you need six boxes of cereal," Viktor grumbled. He had been relegated to pushing the cart, and was trailing behind his friend as Chris strutted down the aisle of the store like it was a runway.

"Viktor, midterms are coming up," Chris replied. "You know I go on a full cereal diet while studying for midterms!"

"Which isn't at all healthy," Viktor argued.

Chris raised an eyebrow. "And spending two weeks eating nothing but pirozhki and borscht is?"

Viktor rolled his eyes. "I haven't eaten borscht in months and you know it," he replied. "And it's hardly my fault Yuri's grandfather makes such delicious pirozhki. Yura barely shares with me, anyway."

Chris laughed. "Maybe if you stopped calling him kitten in front of that boy he likes, he wouldn't mind you as much," he said, and then snatched three bags of jumbo marshmallows and dropped them in the cart.

Viktor chuckled. "I know for a fact that Beka thinks it's cute," he replied. "He started calling Yura kitten as well."

Chris threw a grin over his shoulder. "No wonder Yuri tried to prank you," he said. "I'm still suffering from that."

Viktor couldn't help but grin. Yuri had tried to get back at Viktor for embarrassing him in front of his crush by putting blue hair dye in his shampoo, knowing that Viktor was very particular about his hair. Fortunately for Viktor, Chris had run out of shampoo and used Viktor's instead that day. He still had a few blue streaks in his hair, two weeks and dozens of showers later.

Chris led Viktor down another aisle, and after intense deliberation placed a box of one hundred condoms in the cart.

Viktor immediately stepped away. "Nope!" he exclaimed. "You can push now. I'm not pushing the cart anymore."

Chris mostly ignored him. "Do you think I need two boxes?" he mused.

Viktor stared at him. "You know those things expire, right?"

Chris nodded absently.

Viktor rolled his eyes. "I'm going to find some vodka to drown my sorrows in," he told Chris, and then walked around his friend to get to the next aisle, still shaking his head in concern.

"Hi, would you like a free sample?" someone asked. Viktor looked up, and then froze as he came face to face with an angel. There was a young man in a Costco uniform standing in front of him behind a small table filled with free samples of something or other with a tentative smile, anxiously playing with the hem of his shirt. Silky black hair flopped over his forehead, a few longer strands tucked behind his ears and curling around his neck in the back. Dark, expressive eyes the exact color of molten chocolate blinked innocently at him from behind blue-framed glasses and his button nose was wrinkled cutely, pink lips half-parted.

Viktor was aware that he was staring, open-mouthed, but he couldn’t think straight in the face of this adorable perfection. The man cocked his head a little, and Viktor’s heart skipped a beat.

“Um… are you alright?” the man said. Viktor was half-certain he swooned. The man's voice was the perfect mix of smooth and soft, and just a little bit uncertain.

Viktor uttered an embarrassing squeak, and dove back behind the shelves. “Chris! Chris!” he panted, accosting his friend before he could turn the corner and come face to face with the beautiful man Viktor had discovered.

Chris stared at him, but let Viktor drag him and the cart further away from the end of the aisle. “What the hell?” Chris complained.

“Chris!” Viktor breathed, eyes shining. “I just saw an angel.”

Chris gave him a weird look. “You didn’t strike me as the sort of person to have a religious awakening, Viktor,” he teased. “What did the Lord have to say?”

Viktor punched his friend in the arm. “That’s not what I meant. I just saw the most beautiful man in the world, and then I made a complete fool of myself. Help me!”

Chris smirked. “Let me take a look. Stay here.” He left Viktor with the cart, and then snuck down to the end of the aisle.

Viktor watched with his heart in his throat as Chris peeked around the edge of the shelves, watched for a few moments, and then wandered back over to Viktor, hands in his pockets and grinning widely. “He’s pretty hot,” he said. “Nice ass.”

Viktor buried his face in his hands. “Chris, you have a boyfriend,” he said. “How do you ask out someone that’s completely out of your league?”

Chris frowned. “I’m pretty sure that was an insult.”

Viktor grabbed Chris’s shoulders. “Please,” he said desperately. “You have to help me.”

Chris smirked. “I have just the thing,” he said. Viktor widened his eyes hopefully, and Chris’s smirk grew. “Pickup lines.”

***

“Come work at Costco with me, Yuuri,” Yuuri muttered bitterly as he followed Phichit through the store. “It’ll be fun, Yuuri.”

“Did you say something?” Phichit asked with an angelic smile, glancing at Yuuri over his shoulder.

“No,” Yuuri grumbled.

Phichit laughed, and slung an arm around Yuuri’s shoulders. “Come on, it’ll be fine,” he said. “And this job doesn’t pay too badly. You can splurge on takeout without having to feel guilty.”

“Yes, because eating more takeout will make me feel less guilty,” Yuuri said under his breath. He huffed. “I thought you said I was going to be working in the back, not out in front of people.”

“Leo’s sick today, so we’re short a man,” Phichit said. “C’mon, Yuuri. You’re adorable, you’ll be great at this.”

Yuuri snorted indignantly. “I am not adorable!”

Phichit just laughed. “Yes, you are,” he said. “As your best friend and platonic soulmate, it's my duty to inform you that you are, in fact, adorable and you will, in fact, be popular with everyone who sees you.”

Yuuri sighed, but he could feel his cheeks flushing. “Shut up,” he mumbled.

“I’m serious,” Phichit chuckled. “I’m going to take a count of how many people flirt with you. I’ve already started a betting pool, and Guang-Hong is going to owe me a lot of money at the end of it.”

“I feel objectified,” Yuuri complained.

Phichit just shrugged. “You can get a cut,” he said. “It’ll be good for business, anyway. Just smile at people and ask them if they want a free sample, and they’ll literally be eating out of your hand.”

Yuuri just shook his head. Phichit was being ridiculous, as usual. He liked to tease Yuuri about people flirting with him, because it literally never happened. It would have been annoying if it wasn’t Phichit.

Yuuri sighed. "Where am I supposed to go?" he asked.

"I got you put in the least travelled corner, Yuuri, don't stress," Phichit said soothingly. "You'll be fine."

Yuuri took a deep breath. "I hope so," he muttered.

Phichit gestured to a secluded aisle on one side of the store. "Just chill here, and offer anyone who passes a free sample," he said. "I bet you won't have to socially interact with more than five people. OK?"

"Yeah," Yuuri sighed.

Phichit smiled. "So that's five people who will flirt with you," he said. "Got it. Guang-Hong is going to be down twenty bucks, I'll buy you ice cream later."

Yuuri rolled his eyes. "Go do your job, Phichit," he said, and then shuddered. "I am so glad I'm not working the register."

Phichit blew him a kiss. "Have fun, Yuuri!" he exclaimed.

Yuuri tugged anxiously at his collar, but offered his fried a tentative smile. "I'll do my best."

Phichit wandered off whistling cheerfully with his hands in his pockets, and Yuuri settled himself on a stool behind the small table he had been given with free samples of some sort of cracker. It quickly became clear that Phichit had chosen his secluded corner well; Yuuri saw a grand total of two people, a woman pushing a cart with a toddler, and they were never in earshot.

Yuuri meticulously rearranged the small cups of samples, putting them in neat lines, and then concentric circles, and then a smiley face, and then a flower. He glanced at his watch. It had been about half an hour since Phichit had left.

Yuuri glanced around, seeing absolutely no one, and then covertly took out his phone. He needed his job, and it would be bad to lose it, but if there was no one around no one would catch him playing Candy Crush.

Yuuri spent another twenty minutes distracted by his phone, glancing up every so often to make sure he was alone, until he heard the squeak of a shopping cart's wheels and the soft murmur of conversation. Yuuri slipped his phone back into his pocket and took a deep breath. Forcing himself to think about puppies, he managed to smile just as a young man about his age rounded the corner of the aisle, talking to someone over his shoulder. Yuuri could feel the flush as it crept across his face as the man faced him, a small smile on his lips, silver hair sweeping artfully over clear, icy blue eyes.

"H-hi," Yuuri managed to stammer, sure he would be embarrassed later at how breathless he sounded. He swallowed hard, and said mechanically, "Would you like a free sample?"

The other man stared at him, and his mouth dropped open. Yuuri's blush deepened. He knew he was having a worse hair day than usual, and his glasses made him look bug-eyed, and his lips were very chapped, but the other man didn't have to look so surprised.

"Um... Are you alright?" Yuuri asked nervously when the man didn't say anything for at least thirty seconds. The man squeaked, and turned tail, returning the way he had come.

Yuuri sighed deeply and tangled his fingers in his hair, tugging slightly. He was so ugly that the first person who saw him up close literally ran away. Phichit was going to be losing whatever bet he had made with Guang-Hong. Yuuri wondered if his friend would still get him ice cream.

***

"Pick up lines?" Viktor echoed dubiously.

Chris nodded, smirking. "It's a tried and true method of picking up guys," he said confidently. "You just need to turn on that Nikiforov charm and say something witty to ask him out."

Viktor stared at him, and then said softly, "How does your boyfriend date you?"

Chris pouted. "You asked," he said.

Viktor sighed heavily. "Luckily for you, I'm desperate," he said. "What should I do, the usual kind, like, um... 'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?' 'Do you have a map, because I'm getting lost in your eyes.' Are those good?"

Chris shook his head. "Viktor, you have to be classy," he said. "We're in a grocery store. You have to use a grocery store pick up line."

Viktor blinked. "There are grocery store pick up lines?"

Chris snickered. "Of course."

"Like what?" Viktor challenged.

Chris smirked. "I'd like to check you out at the register," he said. "I'd like a free sample, but not of the food, if you know what I mean."

Viktor groaned, covering his face. "Those are horrible," he complained.

Chris just shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. If anyone can make them work, it would be you. How desperate are you?"

"He probably has people flirting with him all the time, if he doesn't have a boyfriend already," Viktor muttered. "I guess terrible pick up lines would be one way to make myself stand out."

"That's the spirit!" Chris exclaimed. "Go get yourself a date!"

Viktor took several deep breaths, and then strolled confidently out of the aisle towards the man, hands in his pockets to hide their trembling. The man was seated on his stool, frowning down at his phone, black hair falling over his eyes. His eyes flicked up as Viktor approached, and he swallowed visibly.

"Hi," Viktor said with a nervous smile. He stopped in front of the man's table, and glanced at his name tag. Yuuri. Yuuri. OK. He could do this. He could ask Yuuri out.

"How can I help you?" Yuuri said in a soft voice.

Viktor laced his fingers together, and then blurted, "I'd like a sample, but not of the food."

Yuuri blinked. "What?"

Viktor bit his lip. "I see something I'd like to check out," he added.

Yuuri frowned, a tiny wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows. "I'm sorry, I don't understand," he said quietly. "Is there a problem I can help you with?"

Viktor flushed with embarrassment, covering his face with his hands. "No, I'm sorry," he said. "My friend gave me at these awful pick up lines, but I-"

"Wait," Yuuri said slowly, sounding very confused. "Pick up lines?" His expression cleared as if something was dawning on him. "Wait are you... Are you flirting with me?"

Viktor nodded, deciding it was in his best interest to be honest. After all, he had nothing left to lose. "Yes, I'm flirting," he said. "Are you dating someone?"

Yuuri shook his head. "N-no, I'm single," he said quickly. "I didn't expect this to happen. I've never been flirted with before!"

Viktor stared at him. "Seriously?"

Yuuri nodded. "I- I, um," he said, and then looked down. "I, um, I don't know any pick up lines but I... Like your hair? I'm so sorry, I don't know how to flirt."

Viktor laughed softly. "Me neither apparently," he said, and then stuck out his hand. "I'm Viktor."

"Yuuri," Yuuri said, and then blushed cutely as he glanced down at his name tag. "But of course, you already know that."

Viktor smiled at him, and then said tentatively, "So, um... Would you like to get coffee with me? After your shift, maybe?"

Yuuri nodded eagerly. "I'd love to," he said, and then looked down. "Sorry. I'm really awkward. You might regret asking me out."

Viktor shook his head with a small smile. "I don't think so," he said. He had been immediately attracted to Yuuri because of his looks, but he was quickly coming to like the man's shy, adorable, slightly awkward personality as well. He looked forward to finding out what made Yuuri tick, getting to know him better. "Can I give you my number?" he said.

Yuuri nodded, and handed Viktor his phone. Viktor smiled at the photo of a fluffy poodle on the home screen, and then quickly put in his contact information. "Text me when you're free," he said. "I'm not doing anything the rest of the day." He winced, realizing how desperate that sounded.

Yuuri smiled shyly. "Me neither," he said. "I get off around five. Is that OK?"

"Perfect," Viktor chirped.

Yuuri's shy smile widened. "I'll see you later, Viktor," he said, sounding positively elated.

Viktor winked. "See you, Yuuri." He grabbed two of the free samples with a brilliant smile and then walked away with a wave over his shoulder, feeling Yuuri's gaze on his back the whole time.

Chris was seated crosslegged in the middle of the aisle, scrolling through his phone as he waited for Viktor. "I'm surprised you weren't eavesdropping," Viktor teased.

Chris glanced up. "I do have some personal pride," he complained, getting to his feet. He smiled. "So did the pick up lines work, or what?"

Viktor gave him a smug smile. "I didn't need them after all," he said. "I've got myself a date a five." He offered a stunned Chris one of the small paper cups with a stale cracker stuffed inside. "Free sample?"

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone who might not know, Costco is an American chain of stores that sells a lot of stuff in huge quantities. I hope you enjoyed, feel free to comment/ask questions if you have any or talk to me [here](https://iwritebetterthanispeak.tumblr.com/), and have a wonderful day, dear reader!


End file.
